Human Givens - Black and white thinking

What is written here is our own summary and interpretation of some of the ideas presented in the Human Givens book and training provided by Mindfields College. For a full description please refer to the book "Human Givens: a new approach to emotional health and clear thinking" by Joe Griffen and Ivan Tyrell.

"Black and white thinking" is a term given to the type of thinking which we automatically use when we are emotionally aroused. This often happens without our awareness. It is a primitive form of thinking in which we see everything in terms of absolutes - i.e. everything is either "black" or "white". See the APET model for a description of how this works.

Example - anger

Imagine meeting someone who is extremely angry - maybe they have been involved in a confrontation or a fight. While they are angry their reaction to you is likely to be that you are either:

• On their side - i.e. a friend who agrees with their point of view

. . . or . . .

• Against them - i.e. an enemy to be opposed

The reality of the situation may be that you want to help them but can see that they need to calm down. Whilst they are in "black and white" thinking, this is not an option. This is why we instinctively encourage angry people to calm down before trying to reason with them. Black and white thinking precludes reasoning. The angry person can not see any "shades of grey". They are incapable of accessing their rational mind while they are intensely angry. Note that this is normal human behaviour.

Example - love

When we are in love we imagine that the other person either:

• Loves me (i.e. "he/she loves me")

. . . or . . .

• Does not love me (i.e. "he/she loves me not")

The reality of the situation is usually more complex than this. They may be a partner or close friend who disapproves of some of our recent behaviour. We cannot access this truth until we can reduce our level of emotional arousal.

Example - sadness

If we are extremely sad, perhaps depressed, then we often assume that our life is a total failure, or we have always been useless, or that everything is our fault. This is extreme black and white thinking. The truth is usually that we have failed at something, or that we have been useless at something, or that something is our fault, but not that the problem concerns everything, has been that way for ever, and will never change. The things which have gone wrong sometimes be put right - but not while we are in the grip of black and white thinking. The way out of this locked way of thinking is to find a way to calm our mind.

Example - frustration

If you have ever tried to do something which simply won't work you may have experienced great frustration. Just like any strong emotion - this can cause black and white thinking. Typically we feel that:

• It's worth keeping - we should fix it

. . . or . . .

• It's not worth anything - we should destroy it

Once again, the truth is usually that if we can handle our extreme frustration we can make the best of the current situation. The fastest way to handle frustration is to take time out, get a change of scenery and use the 7/11 breathing technique.

Why we sometimes can't think straight

When emotion runs high - the amygdala switches off our access to our rational mind

Remember that black and white thinking can be caused by any strong emotion. This includes, greed or lust, embarrassment, jealousy, hatred, excitement, anger, sadness, grief, love, extreme happiness and joy. It is never associated with calmness and peacefulness. However if we were always calm and peaceful we would have problems coping with our busy world. A balance is required. Knowing when you are emotionally aroused and how to deal with it gives us more options for dealing with situations. Knowing what "presses our buttons" gives us a wider range of responses and the ability to be more creative with solutions.